Does Love Mean Never Having To Say You’re Sorry?

Of course, I’m referencing the 1970 movie, Love Story. Perhaps the most remembered line from that screenplay is “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” When I was in junior high, I bought that line. In fact, I swallowed the whole thing, hook, line, and sinker. Now, after forty years of marriage to the same amazing human, I realize what a complete load of equine excrement those words represent.

No, my advice, if you want a long, happy marriage, is say you’re sorry, often, and mean it. Swallow all that false pride and just do it. Because unless your marriage is more of a business arrangement…meaning come together for twenty years or so, raise a couple of healthy kids, then part on good terms…you need to care more than that.

You’re partner is special. And during the course of your long busy life together, you’re going to forget that fact. Guaranteed. You’re going to forget that she used to write computer code…now she writes the alphabet with your little boy. You’re going to forget that he used take long mountain bike rides across the mountains…now he walks beside your daughter as she wobbles along on training wheels. Essentially, at times, you’re going to stop seeing your partner, see how hard they are working, how much they care, how much they love. And when that happens, stop and stare, and see them again. Then take hold of their shoulders, look them in the eyes, and say “I’m sorry. You’re amazing. I see you. See that you live your life for us now. I’m so glad that you’re in my life. And I’m so sorry that I don’t tell you that every day.”

Right now, you’re probably asking yourself, what is this all about? Simple. In my very first blog, my welcome blog, I promised that I’d post, on or about, every full moon. January’s full moon came and went without a single word from me. Not even a quick “Hello, I’m so busy that I’m skipping this month.” And I want to have a long meaningful relationship with my readers. So, “I’m sorry. You’re amazing. I see you. See that you took time from your busy lives to read my novel, pondered the questions I raised, and have visited my blog for more. I’m glad that you’re in my life. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t post in January.”

My January was a month of extremes…sadness and joy…family and friends. The sadness concerned family challenges, the kind that have no solutions, the sort that must simply be endured with great love. The joy…my friends…the magnificence of their efforts on my behalf truly remarkable.

I pursued a serendipitous opportunity during this January’s Sundance Film Festival…live performances of crucial scenes from my novel. But never mind that…I’ll post much more about that over the next few months. By far, the most important take away from that whole crazy Sundance Film Festival experience is that I have remarkable friends. Without them, Sundance would have never happened. I see them. They are amazing. And if I forgot to personally say “Thank you,” to any one of you, then please forgive me, and “I’m sorry.”

Stream of Consciousness Quote:

“Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober; not to make us sorry but wise.”-H. G. Wells